The Room is Too Big Tuesday 005: St. Peter’s Basilica

Going to church is a holy experience for many. It’s a time to sit and reflect on the more spiritual aspects of our lives, as we turn inward for guidance. For us though, we worship at the alter of one fair, yet cruel god: Big room. It’s destructive, vengeful, and demands your 100% commitment to its cause. We disciples of big room are loyal to a fault, to the extent to which we’re willing to damage the very fabric of our own sanity as we stare straight into the cursed maw of dance music’s best worst genre. For the Church of Big Room, our mass takes place every Tuesday like clockwork.

[pullquote]”Your descent into big room will continue until you know nothing in life but fist-pumping and making indistinguishable yelping sounds every time a drop hits during a live set.”[/pullquote]

To do true justice to this ideal, this week we journey to one of the largest church structures the world has to offer in St. Peter’s Basilica. It’s the home of the pope himself, whom we can neither confirm nor deny loves big room as much as we. For the sake of our narrative though, let’s go with “he seems just chill enough to at least dabble.” The Basilica itself is almost 450 feet high, 500 feet wide, and over 700 feet long. Simply put, it’s fucking huge. Who’s ready for church? Because we sure as hell are.

[authorbox authorid=”14″ title=”Nick’s Pick: W&W – Rave After Rave”]

If you’ve anywhere near a radio the last two weeks, odds are you’ve heard W&W’s latest assault on musical quality, Rave After Rave. If you’ve been tuning into The Room is Too Big Tuesday, you’ll also know that for that exact reason we can’t get enough of this track. The build sounds like a nightmarish marriage of Pirates of the Caribbean, steel drums, and bombastic trumpets and saws that really define the sound I hate to love with all my heart. You’d best get comfortable with this one, because odds are you’ll be hearing it on every god damn festival stage all summer whether you want to or not.

[authorbox authorid=”966″ title=”Ted’s Pick: D.O.D. Bootleg – Daft Punk’s Aerodynamic”]

Daft Punk are often considered legends of the trade. To many, turning their music into shameless big room would be considered blasphemy. Well, if that is the case and enjoying this shameless noise is wrong, then I sure as hell don’t want to be right. D.O.D.’s bootleg of Aerodynamic by Daft Punk is a monster whose quest for sonic dominance simply won’t be satisfied until every one of us is pumping our fists in the fucking air. Using what sounds like a combination of electro synths and only the finest pots and pans, D.O.D. crafts an enormous masterpiece that will keep you raging until you’re saying “Daft Punk, who?”