(Is this your photo?)

The Room is Too Big Tuesday 006: The Grand Canyon

“We disciples of big room are loyal to a fault, to the extent to which we’re willing to damage the very fabric of our own sanity as we stare straight into the cursed maw of dance music’s best worst genre.”

Last week, we were talking in a large group of people about where we should go for this week’s episode. As Ted and I talked over this week’s locale, a friend of ours spoke up and noted, “So, I have literally zero idea why you’re talking about big room house and going to Arizona.” We launched into our explanation, as we ran through the normal song and dance we use to explain this beautiful cursed genre that’s stolen so much of our time and lifeforce. Our friend cut us off mid-sentence with a twinkle in his eye, ending the conversation with a simple, “I get it and that sounds amazing.” The biggest realization of this whole affair: Put us in a room with someone who has no clue what this weekly feature is, and we’ll have an entire horrible genre explained and evangelized in less than a minute. One of us. One of us. One of us.

So here we are, at the lip of the Grand Canyon, ready to bring our tale to a place hundreds of thousands of years in the making. Big room transcends the bounds of time and space, crossing over all planes to be horrible and addictive no matter where or when it is in the universe. In a canyon measuring 18 miles wide, 277 miles long, and up to 6000 feet deep, we may have finally find nature’s answer to “is the room big enough?” Here in the deserts of Arizona, you can bet your ass it is.

[authorbox authorid=”14″ title=”Nick’s Pick: Blasterjaxx & Justin Prime – Push Play”]

It seems only right that I run with Push Play after an Ultra weekend where just about every major DJ faced questions about whether or not they were actually mixing live, or simply letting their laptops do all the work for them. Our simple answer to that question that comes to mind when letting this track run on repeat: Who the fuck cares, the room is huge right now. We care about musical quality just as much as the next website, but here at The Room is Too Big Tuesday, pushing play is the stupidly simple credo we live by once a week. Once we leave the comfortable confines of our pop sensibility to enter the real world, we can return to the exhausting snobbery of hating everything that doesn’t have the word “minimal” in it. But for now, we revel in the canyon of quality that is our favorite least favorite genre.

[authorbox authorid=”966″ title=”Ted’s Pick: Timmo Hendricks – Astrob”]

What is the limit for how big a song can get? That is a question we ask ourselves every single week while writing this segment.The answer is short and simple.To quote Mean Girls, “The limit does not exist.” That’s a statement made outrageously clear by my pick for this week. Timmo Hendrick’s Astrob is the pounding nightmare of a track that I have been waiting my whole life for. The build up in this song is an epic 90 seconds of anticipation, topped off by a drop that sounds like a sample of what I can only assume was the angriest duck ever. Fowl jokes aside, this track is not for the faint of heart, and with the support of big names like Carnage (who has begun working it into his sets) I hope to be shamelessly indulging in this all summer long.